Keep Going! Because Nothing Is Impossible!

There are many stories in my life that shaped me and helped make me who I am today.

Not all of them are positive.

But each one taught me something.

The story I am about to tell stands out because it influenced many of my later decisions.

My parents always kept me inside what I would call a “bubble of love”.

Our family functioned beautifully.

For a long time, I was quiet, gentle and desperate to please everyone.

Eventually I learned to let go of that compulsion.

Partly because I realised that pleasing everybody is impossible.

And partly because I learned that I need to stand up for myself.

For what I believe is right.

And protect myself from people who operate without love in their relationships.

Thirteen years ago, within a single month, my health deteriorated to the point where I could no longer walk.

I was in terrible pain.

My father and younger brother carried me everywhere.

To doctors.

Around the apartment.

Into the bathroom.

Imagine what that feels like for someone who has always been constantly in motion.

Suddenly, you cannot do anything by yourself.

Even the most basic tasks require another person.

After several doctors and alternative practitioners — some of whom were frankly unbelievable — we finally found someone who genuinely understood the situation and was one of the best in the field.

After a thorough week of examinations, I was transferred to immunology.

There, my doctor told me I had ankylosing spondylitis.

As he described the likely progression of the disease, I looked behind myself twice to see who he was talking to.

Surely those words could not be meant for me.

They were.

That evening, only when nobody could see me anymore, I allowed myself several hours of self-pity.

The following morning, however, I decided:

Whatever it takes, I am moving beyond this.

I will not spend the rest of my life in pain.

I will not inject myself every week forever.

And I absolutely refuse to become someone whose spine gradually stiffens.

I did know one frightening thing:

In that condition, I could not imagine having a child.

I did not believe my body would be capable of it.

The medication I was using had not been tested for pregnancy, so it could not be continued.

I could have used steroid injections.

Knowing their “wonderful” effects, I preferred not to.

At first, daily life was defined by a walker.

Physiotherapy with two crutches.

Rehabilitation treatments.

Injections.

Several months later, when I first walked outside without crutches and managed to overtake another pedestrian, I celebrated as though I had won an Olympic event.

That is what people mean by “life’s little joys”.

I improved gradually.

But I felt that basic rehabilitation was not enough.

I enrolled in a belly-dance instructor course because this form of movement works almost every known and less obvious deep muscle in the body.

It worked.

And honestly, I enjoyed it much more than ordinary physiotherapy.

Although my physiotherapist was an absolute angel.

During the dance training, we worked not only with the body, but also with the inner world.

We attended a Hellinger family-constellation session.

I recommend the experience warmly to anyone who feels drawn to it.

My chosen theme was obvious:

My illness.

It was astonishing and emotionally intense to see how the method worked for me.

It revealed possible patterns and connections I had never considered in relation to my condition.

It took me another year to process what I had experienced there.

I explored many self-awareness practices.

Yoga.

Dance.

Access Bars.

Several of my friends trained in Theta Healing and helped me greatly over the years.

Today I practise Kundalini yoga and Pranayama and continue learning about both.

It has been a long period filled with learning and confrontation.

But for the past year, I have not needed injections.

And I can finally say:

I feel well.

For me, ankylosing spondylitis was once the defining diagnosis.

Today, it no longer defines my life.

What changed?

Experiences became important.

Living moments consciously.

My feelings.

My desires.

My femininity.

Enjoying life.

Good wine.

Good food.

Nature.

And giving thanks for those things every day.

I learned to remain open and curious.

To listen to intuition.

To accept myself exactly as I am — including my ridiculous sides.

To stand up for my truth.

To take responsibility for my own life.

Time alone with myself has become important.

Time when it is only me.

And I do whatever is genuinely best for me in that moment.

I learned to say no.

And to value the people who truly matter.

Now I also know that I can help other people.

Life is beautiful.

It holds extraordinary things.

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But we have to stop in the middle of the rush long enough to notice them.

Slow down.

Pay conscious attention to yourself.

Live fully.

Because if you refuse to stop, life may eventually force you to.

Professional portrait photography works best when the real person remains recognisable behind the image.

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For the professional context and practical side of portrait photography, visit the BANHALMI professional website. Related art series, books and exhibitions are preserved in the BANHALMI ART archive.