BDSM – Everyone Has Their Own Version of Normal

• Feature article •

I had an intimate experience with my partner that caused another Woman inside me to begin unfolding.

I wanted to see that side of myself in photographs.

I had already brought a similarly unusual idea to life beautifully once before, so I had no question about who I would approach with this one.

It matters enormously to me not to feel like just another client.

I want to feel special.

That I matter. That my feelings matter. My thoughts. My body. My soul.

I don't want a photo session measured by a stopwatch or by the number of images.

I want us to enter a flow and create something artistic — something in which I can be myself without tension or inhibition, expressing what I feel in those intimate moments with my partner.

That requires enormous trust.

It also matters to me that the other person can hold that energy and remain my equal — that the intimate, loving energy moving through me does not overwhelm the person creating with me.

I sent the following story to him with some nervousness, hoping he would not reject the idea.

What I already knew was that he had accepted me exactly as I was and had lovingly helped me bring my previous, fairly extreme concept to life.

“Hi Norbi,

This is the story I would like to see turned into photographs. We can do this, right?

It was already late.

I was sitting on the sofa watching television, waiting for my partner to come home.

Suddenly the door opened and Peti appeared.

He took off his shoes, hung up his coat and stepped into the living room.

His face was lit only by the television and a lamp standing in the corner.

He smiled.

He dropped onto the sofa beside me, put down his bag and planted a huge kiss on my cheek. As he unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, he began telling me about his day.

He did not look tired at all.

If anything, he seemed excited.

At times he was talking so quickly that I had to concentrate just to follow him, until eventually I lost the thread entirely.

I asked him to slow down and tell me what was making him so energised, because from what he had said, it sounded like an entirely ordinary day.

A mischievous smile appeared on his face.

He lifted his index finger, asking me to be patient.

Then he picked up his bag, opened it and removed a package, placing it in his lap.

Curiously, I waited to see what was inside the box that had brought another smile to Peti's face.

He opened it.

The contents surprised me.

Two small leather straps joined with a chain.

Cuffs.

Peti looked up toward the shelf lined with my erotically charged books.

‘I thought… what if you didn't only read about it…’

He never finished the sentence.

He placed the cuffs beside me, stood up and helped me to my feet.

He pulled me toward him and kissed me gently.

He seemed like a completely different man from the person who had been talking so wildly only minutes earlier.

He embraced me, then slowly ran his hands along the sash of my robe until he reached the knot and loosened it.

His hands slipped beneath the satin.

He moved them gently upward along my waist, over my bare breasts and onto my shoulders, then with one decisive movement let the robe fall from my body.

It floated to the floor.

I stood before him wearing only small black panties.

Peti picked up one of the leather straps from the sofa and took my hand.

He kissed me again, this time more firmly, and within moments the cuff was fastened around my wrist.

He picked up the second strap and stepped behind me.

In the mirror of the living-room cabinet, I watched him stop at my back.

Slowly he drew the strap down along my back from the nape of my neck toward my hips.

I closed my eyes and surrendered to the sensation as it travelled down my spine.

Then he reached for my free hand and drew it behind me.

He pressed close against my body.

I could feel his rapid breathing at my neck as he tightened the cuff around my wrist.

Then he reached for my other hand and connected the two straps with the chain attached to them.

Peti returned to his bag and brought out another box.

I waited, excited to see what else it might contain.

He opened it and took out another leather strap with a metal ring.

Once again he stepped behind me and fitted the collar around my neck.

He turned me toward the mirror so that I could see it too, making the game even more exciting.

The collar sat gently but firmly around my neck.

As he pressed against me from behind, my hands restrained behind my back brushed against his arousal, and I exhaled deeply with desire.

He stepped in front of me, hooked his fingers into the ring of the collar and pulled me close.

He kissed me passionately, bit my lip, then led me toward the bedroom…”

Many of us know the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, wait for the next instalment of 365 Days, rush to bookshops for J. L. Perry's Bastards, or take a Levente Lakatos novel from our shelves and let its thoughts play with our desires.

Their styles differ, but we watch and read them for a similar reason:

Through them, a world we think of as forbidden — though perhaps it is simply hidden — opens in front of us.

Taboo becomes explicit and desire comes alive.

They show us what we usually do not talk about.

In many cases, we do not even dare tell our own partner when we long for something different from the familiar.

Whether film or book, these works bring the experience very close.

We can share the characters' passion, the sighs provoked by touch, and encounter some of our wildest desires.

They can answer questions and help us discover our own erotic world.

We become observers of an exciting game — participants, in our imagination, in the very ‘sin’ that tempts us.

I too learned from books what affected me erotically, but I never spoke openly about those desires.

It was my partner who, by looking through my books, brought those secret wishes to life and set them free.

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The taboos disappeared.

And in their place, a stronger bond and a more intimate relationship developed between us — not only inside the bedroom, but outside its walls too.

C-level event photography preserves not only the atmosphere of an event, but also executive presence and the values of the brand.

Part of the BANHALMI ecosystem

For the professional context and practical side of portrait photography, visit the BANHALMI professional website. Related art series, books and exhibitions are preserved in the BANHALMI ART archive.