As My Soul Changed…

• Feature article •

My first encounter with Norbi happened during a period of my life that remains deeply significant to me.

At the time, life was giving me more and more signs that I was beside the wrong person.

There was still a long road between that moment and where I am today, but it feels good to look back because every time I do, I remind myself that I am stronger than I think.

I met my first love when I was thirteen.

We stayed together for seven years in a turbulent, painful and emotionally exhausting relationship.

Some people said I had already gone through more suffering during those years than others experience in an entire lifetime.

Over time, I began examining those comments differently.

I tried to transform them into a kind of positive motivation.

Today I am grateful because those experiences helped shape the woman I became.

About six months before the relationship ended, my mother and I went to a photo shoot where I had the chance to discover Norbi's unusual way of thinking.

His perspective gave me a great deal of positive energy.

Not long afterwards, a thought began forming inside me:

I no longer wanted to keep doing this.

The relationship was consuming me.

Neither of us was happy anymore.

We were simply holding onto something that had stopped existing a long time before.

After the breakup, I spent a while on the usual emotional roller coaster.

One day I was better.

The next I felt worse than I ever had in my life.

Then came several months of deep depression.

I would not wish those feelings on anyone.

I thought nobody would ever want me again.

I believed I would never want anybody either because I would never again be able to love or trust.

I felt as though I had already given away all the love inside me and had nothing left.

My soul was empty.

I felt like a completely drained zombie.

I had lost my self-esteem as a woman during the relationship itself.

Afterwards, for a long time, I barely felt as though I existed even as a human being.

I could not understand why I felt that way.

After all, I had been the one who finally stood up and left my past behind.

I do not remember exactly when or why things began changing.

But slowly, I started returning to life.

I began taking care of myself and enjoying being alive.

At twenty, it was time to stop living inside a cage and begin doing the things I actually wanted.

I threw myself into my hobby.

Dance has always been the language of my soul, so I allowed it to help my wounds heal.

I waited until I felt open toward other people again.

I went out with friends.

Let myself drift with life.

If someone caught my attention, I dated them, talked to them, tried to get to know them.

Most situations did not go very far because I always seemed to find some problem.

That was when I realised something important:

First, I had to believe in myself.

I had to believe that my dreams could become reality.

That one day I could have the family and life I wanted.

I had to believe that I deserved the happiness I longed for.

Then I met him.

He looked into my eyes and I knew:

I had found him.

I was home.

My soul became calm.

My heart beat with love again.

I was happy.

Unfortunately, life placed distance between us.

I entered the relationship without knowing when I would see him again.

And still I was happy.

What does distance matter?

With time, almost anything can be overcome if people really want it and are willing to work for it.

I took the risk.

Love and happiness are worth that risk.

This kind of feeling does not grow on every bush.

When we receive it, we have to protect it, care for it and remain committed through difficult periods too.

He helped me reach the point where I now look into the mirror proudly as a woman and genuinely like being who I am.

Sadly, he eventually reached a point where he could not continue and ended our relationship.

My heart broke again.

But I know that things happen for a reason.

I continue believing that everyone deserves the happiness they truly long for.

And I believe we often think we have lost something wonderful before we understand that something even better may still be waiting.

I know these thoughts may sound like clichés.

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I also know many people think believing in fairy tales is childish.

But I know something else too:

We shape our own destiny.

Our dreams, goals and desires are what move us forward through life.

And somehow Norbi — and the world he sees in people — always reappears in my life exactly when I need to remember to believe in myself.

Professional portrait photography works best when the real person remains recognisable behind the image.

Part of the BANHALMI ecosystem

For the professional context and practical side of portrait photography, visit the BANHALMI professional website. Related art series, books and exhibitions are preserved in the BANHALMI ART archive.